HOW TO PRESERVE A HUSBAND

          Be careful in your selection. Do not choose one too young. When once
          selected give your entire thought to preparation for domestic use. Some
          insist on keeping them in a pickle, others are constantly getting them in
          hot water. This makes them sour, hard and sometimes bitter. Even poor
          varieties may be made sweet, tender and good by garnishing them with
          patience, well sweetened with love and seasoned with kisses. Wrap them in a
          mantle of charity. Keep warm with a steady fire of domestic devotion and
          serve with peaches and cream. Thus prepared, they will keep for years.
          from Jackies Kitchen Magic